hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
