im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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