I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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