Apparently you make a good broom.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
