I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My penis needs a shock collar
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
