So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
