Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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