And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
