Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
