Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
