At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
