There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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