get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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