i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
