Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
