ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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