i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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