actually, I'm a sock model
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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