Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
