It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
