I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
