I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
In America we eat man semen.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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