And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
