That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
