I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
