found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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