Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
