No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
