I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
