I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
