The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
