he shaved USA in his pubs
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
