Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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