she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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