I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
