what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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