But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
