Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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