i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
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