I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
