I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
