dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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