Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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