oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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