That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
