Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I love having hate sex.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
