We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the day after is always just damage control
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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