3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
