why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize