you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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