using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
