Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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