If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she smelled like a LAN party
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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